January 21, 2012

Hi everyone !

WOW. So much has gone on since I last wrote a blog post >.< I guess from the psychiatry side of things, I was feeling pretty god damn sleepy again for a while there, after christmas and over new years. When I say sleepy I mean physically tired, but also low on motivation, generally couldn't make myself do very much at all. Early january I met my new, permanent psychiatrist who is a really lovely man and he decided that while valproate is the best stabilizer for me at the moment, I need an antidepressant added to the mix. He prescribed me Aropax, which is an antidepressant designed to target panic attacks aswell as I suffer from them so frequently and without reason and I have to say, it's working quite well. I no longer take naps during the day and my appetite is surpressed which is good as valproate was making me gain weight D: I have to see him again monday to note my progress so I will let you know how that goes :)

Also in early january I saw a rheumatologist about the joint pain I was getting, and he ordered a bunch of blood tests + put me on some medication for lupus/arthritis called Plaquenil. The medication has settled my joints but it really hurts my stomach, unfortunately. . I feel nauseas for a few hours after I take it, and I'm meant to take it twice a day D: I have to see him again in february to get my results back and a proper diagnosis so hopefully he can change the medicine then because I don't really want to keep on taking it.

Last weekend Morgan, my beautiful sister Shelby and I took a road trip to Melbourne to see our friends, Harry, Ned and Mikhail for a couple of days. It was an awesome time to just hang out and relax, get away from work + stress and have a good time. I got lots of rest which was good as I've been suffering from a lot of stomach related side effects from Plaquenil. We also had a mini party on saturday night and it was super fun ! I can't wait to go back and hang out with them again :)

Finally I guess I should mention what has been happening over the last few days. I had a small surgical procedure on wednesday morning, and I don't really want to talk about what procedure it was or why, because while I am very open on this blog, it's not really related to my mental health and it's just very personal. TOO personal. In any case, it was just meant to be a small day surgery and I was meant to be home that afternoon. My fear of needles made getting the drip put in the most disgusting, awful thing ever but I survived and was knocked out straight away anyway. The surgery went well and my parents picked me up with a big plush elephant for me, which was so cute of them ! Unfortunately the few hours I was home for I lost a huge amount of blood and eventually collapsed on my way to the area of the hospital I had to go, which was really scary. I was whisked away and taken straight to a bed with another huge drip put in me, blood taken, fluids given, etc. I had to stay overnight because the doctor wanted to operate again the next morning but when the time came he decided the bleeding had stopped enough for me to go home with no further surgery, thank god.

I guess the main point I wanted to make was, I really thought I was going to die in a hospital corridor.. It really puts things into perspective. Not only do I feel so much more appreciative of everyone in my life, but god, they have been so good to me. Everyone has been running around worrying about me, my family have been making sure I've had everything I need, it's been so sweet. The afternoon I was admitted to hospital and they put this giant drip into my arm I was crying so much and my mum was hugging me and stroking my hair.. I could have never done it without her there. And as soon as Morgan finished work and found out where I was he rushed over to see me with doritos and trashy magazines, what a catch he is ! So yes - don't wait until something bad happens to tell people how much they mean to you. Appreciate all the amazing people in your life every second you can !

<3 B