Just figured I'd update my blog because I'm really bored currently and haven't for ages and ages !
I suppose the most significant things that have happened recently were that I finished university + passed all my topics, and my 21st birthday. So I'll just ramble about those things for awhile.
University - I'm sure going to miss that place. I'll miss learning in a structured environment, but hey, I can always continue with my own studying. I've been working about 4 days a week lately which has been okay really, better than I expected. When I was studying I always wondered how the hell I was going to work full time when I found working just 2 days a week draining and stressful ! However, with no university to worry about, it's going okay and I'm looking forward to having lots of money when I pay off all my christmas debts :)
My 21st birthday was pretty quiet. . . As I don't drink alcohol anymore I wasn't in a particularly party mood, but having my family over was nice and everyone gave me such great gifts + money for a tattoo I want which is awesome. I kind of thought I'd feel more grown up or something, I'm not sure why, I've never felt different on any other birthday, but this one is meant to be important or something.
I suppose in some ways my birthday has changed my thinking - next year I really want to get my health on track. I have an appointment with a rheumatologist about my constant joint pain, and I'm not sure if my fatigue and headaches might go with whatever is causing that (if anything). I've also found myself a permanent psychiatrist, who I'm hoping can help me with something to feel a bit better about my weight because it's really worrying me and making me sad lately. I know I don't look over weight or anything, but after putting so much effort into losing weight in the first place, putting most of it back on is really frustrating and I feel so out of control of myself. I'd love to get back into exercise too when I'm not so damn tired all the time. I'm just frustrated because I don't know if there is something wrong with me or it's my medication so I don't know how to help myself.
I suppose on the topic of my bipolar I have to say my moods have been pretty good lately, I've been really happy aside from the last day or two when I've felt so grumpy and sad for no reason, but hopefully christmas will be enough to drag me out of this slump. I also got my cheeks pierced today which made me feel better - i love facing my fears ! I was so god damn nervous but having my mum there with me made me feel better and it went really well :D
Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say. Sorry it wasn't a very interesting post tonight - just wanted everyone to know I'm still alive.
<3
I've just stumbled across your blog today and wanted to let you know I have enjoyed reading it and identify with everything you've written. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and a lot of the feelings/symptoms you've written about can be very similar to how I feel on a daily basis. All the best with your treatment, I hope you find your "happiness". I look forward to reading more <3
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Samantha ! I've been having a really rough time lately and was thinking 'why bother with this blog anymore?' but you've made me feel like it's worthwhile to keep on writing. And I always appreciate people giving me ideas on what topics to write about so if you think of any, let me know ! :)
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